The Sweater Vest

A sleeveless sweater is an item of knitwear that is similar to a sweater, but without sleeves.

—Wikipedia

Tressel is as bland as vanilla pudding made with a sugar substitute. He wears glasses and parts his hair. He's the banner member for the sweater vest club.

—Lucas Sullivan

College football isn’t usually a place for high fashion. Last time these odd bedfellows crossed paths, we ended up with Texas Tech’s Brandon Carter. Scary? I thought so. But, somewhere deep in the midwest, one man is challenging the paradigm. That man is Jim Tressel, coach of tOSU, and he rocks sweater vests like you’ve never seen. Except that you have seen them, every Saturday, since god knows when.

Lacking any sort of substantive knowledge on sweater vests, like any reputable blogger, I turned to Wikipedia. Finding that Wikipedia knew about as much as I did on the subject, I proceeded to a Google search. Here are some interesting facts I found:

Holidays:

Currently, there is only one holiday celebrating sweater vests — the predictably named International Sweater Vestival. But why sweater vests?:

The Sweater Vestival is an expression of our shared humanity, and no other garment is quite so inclusive, from the self-conscious hipster to the person who just wants to stay warm. Asking people to dress in unison is already asking a lot, but the vest allows enough individuality, humor, and fashion to poke through. Even though the sweater vest has virtually dropped out of the fashion lexicon in recent years, it remains a humble garment that has a comfortable familiarity to it; donning a vest does not come across as an outlandish stunt. Far from asking people to go out on a garish, uncomfortable limb by wearing patent leather pumps or fake moustaches, collective sweater-vest wearing is like chicken soup for the torso.

Other people who wear sweater vests:

• The Jonas Brothers, who will also be releasing a line of clothing, including a sweater vest.
• Clay Aiken
• Justin Timberlake (but only while golfing).
• John Mayer
• Your great aunt who knits you sweaters you never wear, and feel slightly guilty for never wearing them.

In other words, quite the illustrious crowd.

Reasons to wear a sweater vest:

• Torso is cold, but arms are hot.
• Your biceps are too large to fit in a sweater (The Schwarzenegger conundrum).
• Because a sweater vest t-shirt just isn’t classy enough for you.
• Even your beer needs to stay cool.
• Your last style gimmick didn’t work out so well.
• It brings out your eyes really well.
• IT’S AWESOME.

Colors to wear:

• Red
• Grey
• Argyle
• Plaid
• Anything else

In Short:

Expect a strong showing for the sweater vest this weekend. As it takes its place along the Ohio State bench, all tOSU nation will look to it for inspiration. It is a beacon for mankind — a representation of all of man's hopes and dreams; of our trials, tribulations and failures. It is pain, passion and triumph in a knitted package. Most importantly however, it will keep one man's torso nice and toasty while allowing his arms to remain relatively cool.