Enlightening Experience

Sighted Matt Barkley on campus today (although this is not surprising because I am Ronald Johnson, his teammate and future go-to receiving target). He was levitating his his bike, presumably on his way to class, clutching a Vitamin Water in his monstrous, perfectly formed fingers. He was radiant, as per usual. As I stared at him, he penetratingly gazed back at me. Simply his proximity to me healed my collarbone. I am at peace.